Motivation. The Perfect Formula?

We are all motivated by one or two things every single day of our lives. A student can be attending classes, studying really hard because he is motivated by the rewards giving at the end of the session, a worker can be motivated to go to work because of the huge salary he gets every time the month ends, a child can be motivated to get an ice-cream because of the satisfaction and pleasure he gets from it.

What is motivation?

Motivation is the reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way. It is the process that commence, guides and maintains goal oriented behaviours.

Motivation activates a behaviour.

Forms Of Motivation.

• Extrinsic: It is when a person exhibits a behaviour because of extrinsic rewards. It involves cultivating and exhibiting a behaviour to either avoid being punished or to get a reward. For example, when you ask someone why they are studying so hard and the person tells you that they want to get a noble price from the school. That Nobel prize is the reward, that is what is driving the person to study so hard.

•Intrinsic: This is when a person is driven or motivated by the satisfaction and pleasure gotten rather than rewards. You are motivated to carry out these behaviours because of the love you have for it and because of internal rewards. For example, when a person is listening to music, it’s because of the pleasure and satisfaction gotten from the music.

• Family Motivation: This is driven by the desire to provide for the loved ones. Family motivation can be due to both intrinsic and extrinsic rewards. When you always want to see your family happy, you get pleasure from helping your family then that’s an intrinsic reward. Extrinsic rewards for example can be when you’re helping your family so you could fulfill obligations or when you know you are going to get an inheritance when you render much help.

There is something that always drives us to do something either when we find it pleasing or not, when it’s affecting us or not. All these are the types of motivation that can help us achieve a goal but is motivation enough? For us to achieve these goals, we need the perfect formula which is Motivation, Discipline and Consistency. Yes, motivation helps to initiate a behaviour but how can we continue with that behaviour if we are not disciplined?

Discipline is defined as training that corrects, molds, or perfects moral behaviour. When you are disciplined, you know that in order to be successful or achieve your goals successfully, you need to behave in a strictly controlled manner and obey particular rules and instructions. Discipline is getting it done because it needs to be done and not because you feel like it. Someone once said and I quote “Most people who are at the pinnacle of anything, had motivation as only one percent of the formula.” You thought motivation was the only formula, winners needs discipline.

Consistency simply means frequency. So you might feel motivated to do something, to exhibit a behaviour but once you leave out discipline and consistency, it might be difficult to achieve these things.

Show Your Work (Review)

If you’ve always hated showing people who you really are and the work you do,

You need to read this book! https://amzn.to/3u5kY5

I always felt shy about putting myself out there.

It was just something I felt was “too much” for me.

Instead of displaying my work to people, I was hiding behind the “introvert” label.

I read this book in just one day; it is that good.

It is one of the best books I have ever read.

This is a book for people who hate the idea of self-promotion. By Austin Kleon.

The fact is that no one cares.

Everyone is so preoccupied with their own lives that what you do with yours isn’t really a burden to them.

If you see your friend learning to play the guitar and they keep sharing their journey of learning,

Would you feel somehow about your friend?

I think you’d be happy for them.

Most of your friends (true friends) would probably feel proud that they know someone who is doing something meaningful to improve themselves.

Don’t be afraid to show up. https://amzn.to/3u5kY5g

You don’t have to wait until you’ve mastered your craft before displaying it.

You don’t have to wait until you become an expert before showing your work.

Let people know about your learning process.

Austin said, “Don’t be afraid to share what you love.” If your work isn’t online, it doesn’t exist. “

You don’t need to be a genius.

Make sure you keep reminding people that you exist.

Most importantly, what do you feed your mind with?

The reading feeds the writing.

You can’t share what you don’t have.

Reading books gives you a lot of inspiration.

It widens your horizons in the aspect of thinking.

You shouldn’t be afraid of what people will say.

Those that trash talk about others are just enemies of progress.

You don’t need to let them into your mind and thoughts.

Austin also said, “Don’t feel guilty about the pleasure you take in the things you enjoy.”

You enjoy it, and that’s enough.

Show Your Work.

I hope this helps.

Precious.

How To Overcome Low Self-Esteem.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is simply recognizing and accepting your values and feeling good about yourself. A person with a good self-esteem are usually proud of what they do and believe in themselves. Self-esteem is your opinion about yourself and your abilities.

You can check more about self esteem. https://peducatecom.wordpress.com/2021/11/17/hello-world/

What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is simply having bad opinions about yourself and your abilities. It is when someone lacks confidence in who they are and what they can do. A person with low self-esteem often feel that they are not enough, incompetent, unloved, and awkward.

Causes of low self-esteem.

° Frequent comparison: Most times, A person with low self-esteem compare themselves to that friend who is at the top of the class or that person who has lots of friends or that person they feel is the most beautiful person they have ever seen and this contribute a lot to the kind of opinions they start having about themselves. Also comparing with those seen on social media will start bringing negative thoughts that they’ll never be up to the standards of those people.

°Unsupportive parents: There are parents that ignorantly contribute to how their children feel about themselves. Parents that are always pointing out a child’s failure, comparing the child with other children that seem to be at the top at that time. This will make them feel like they aren’t making their parents happy then their self-esteem starts to decrease.

°Bad friends: “Friends” that are always making hurtful compliments often contribute to low self-esteem. They make you feel bad and unloved just for the sake of their happiness knowing the kind of effect it is going to have on your self-esteem.

Signs of low self-esteem

•Feeling bad about oneself

•Difficulty speaking up and setting boundaries.

•Poor confidence

•Self doubt.

• Trying to please others everytime even if it’s affecting you and your time. Always saying “I’m sorry” even when you are not at fault.

• Frequent comparison.

How to overcome low self-esteem.

•Focus on what you are good at: You have to stop focusing on your flaws or those things that you think you are not good at and start paying attention to those things you are good at. You might not be focusing on those things just because you feel it’s worthless but there is something that makes you unique when you do something you really love. It might be music, dancing, painting, drawing, teaching, writing, reading or other things. So, focus on those things you are good at and get better at them.

•Challenge those negative thoughts: These negative thoughts are going to keep creeping into your mind but you have to replace them with positive thoughts. I use to say that “you are the only you in this world.” Just thinking about that makes you know that you are very unique in your own way and there’s nobody out there that is like you so anytime those negative thoughts are coming, keep telling yourself that “I am unique”, “I am enough”, “I love myself”.

Learn to not brush off positive compliments, accept it and and thank them.

• Stop comparing yourself to others: Recognizing that everyone is different in their own way and accepting your values and worth. You need to accept your values and work to achieve more and not just making comparisons especially with those you see on social media, they also have their flaws and insecurities, they just know how to hide it well so stop comparing yourself to them just because you feel they are better than you. Recognize your values and accept it. You need to speak up when other people keeps comparing you to others, let them know that they are also not perfect and that you love the way you are regardless of their opinions.

• Stop worrying and have fun: Most people with low self-esteem are over thinkers. You need to understand that you can’t see or change the past also you can’t see the future so try to live in the moment, add values to yourself and have fun.

• Keep good friends: Stay away from friends that only point out failures and flaws. Walk and work with friends that will encourage you, give compliments, contribute to your improvement and success.

• Love Yourself: The most important thing is to love yourself. You loving yourself will make you recognize your worth, make you know your values and it will give you a high level of self-esteem. Accept and love your flaws, love what you are good at.

If self-esteem was a person??

What if we lived in world where self-esteem was a person, what would happen? Will self-esteem be your friend or not?

I know for sure that self-esteem will be my friend though it might take a lot of time to become friends because I don’t know how to start conversations. Anyways, self-esteem will be my friend but we will definitely have arguments back and forth.

This is a scenario of how one of our arguments would look like;

Pov: after three whole days of preparing for a seminar, then on the day of the seminar.

Audience: **claps with a standing ovation. Wow, she is good, she speaks well.

Some of them: oh, she isn’t that good, she is so bad.

Me: oh my God! I did really bad, do you hear what people were saying?

Self-esteem: What do you mean? You really did great, I am so proud of you.

Me: **hisses. Do you think I care about your opinion? This is what people are saying. **Sniffs, I must have done so bad, but I prepared so much for this.

Self-esteem: You did better than I imagined, you need to know your worth and the values you have. You don’t need to focus on the bad things people are saying, you did so well and you need to appreciate yourself.

Me: Are you really sure?

Self-esteem: Yes I am!

Me: I’m really sorry self-esteem, I should listen to you more.

Me:. I’m very sorry self-esteem.

Self-esteem: no problem, I love you.

HUGS🎉🎉.

The End.

There are times that we will feel that we are not enough or we are not good enough and then our self-esteem starts to decrease, we don’t feel confident in ourselves again but what we should do here is that we remind ourselves of our worth and values.

Let’s not focus on the negative things that people are saying but listen to those that are saying good about you and ask them if there’s anything you need to work on.

You have to know that you deserve to be treated with respect and make sure to recognise your values.

Love yourself.